Happy Holidays!

What's awesome about this year is that my PMS is coinciding nicely with our upcoming holiday party [this Saturday] and I COULD NOT BE HAPPIER. REALLY.

Plus, I'm all panicky about not getting good enough deals on . . . every fucking thing. I hate second guessing myself when I'd much rather be DONE shopping, because holy fuck, people, I hate shopping.

On the plus side, my perimenopause means that I can leave the thermostat set at 62 degrees during the day and NOT feel cold. Even though I am currently not wearing socks, only wearing Finn sandals, which I submit are NOT as dorky as Birkenstocks, even though they look pretty much exactly the same.

And now it's back to Target. I guess I'll put on actual shoes.

And now what?

I finally got my stove! Hooray! Except . . . there is stink from that shiny oil they spray in the oven that, no matter how long I've left the oven on [and escaped from the house, because CHEMICAL SMELL = TOXIC no matter what] I still feel like it's there. Thus far I have made stromboli for the husband and a roast with potatoes, also for the husband. I figure if he doesn't keel over and die from the toxins, I should be able to eat something out of the oven sometime soon. Like maybe 2010.

I was at the post office this morning getting stamps and having a delightful conversation with the old guys on either side of me about how long of a line there was with only TWO [yes, 2!] postal employees during what is arguably their busiest season, and really, what is the USPS thinking? You know why no one uses the regular mail? Because you suck.

After FINALLY getting my stamps [generic cookie stamps, no religious ones, thanks], I went to Target and, after picking up the dishwasher detergent, realized I had to leave but soon because everything I kept trying to put in my cart was something for me and now is really not the time to expand my Scrubs DVD collection [but only $16.99, and shut up, that show is fucking HILARIOUS], but is instead the time to try and figure out what the fuck to get my family members for this holiday we don't but do celebrate. I called my sister and asked her what to get my mother [I already did a magazine subscription and a CD] and she suggested . . . nylon knee socks. Yeah. Thanks for that.

Off to do the dishes, now that I can.

Weekday Update

It's been a busy holiday season already:

* Still haven't finished decorating! And while technically am not christian, I do enjoy glitter and sparkle!

* Still am waiting on delivery of new stove! [tomorrow, and please please please let there not be a dent in it like last time!]

* Have tennis elbow, though have not actually played tennis since mid 1990s. [was terrible even then]

* Had ridiculously awkward/hilarious/horrible sex talk with daughter. God, you must have kids if only to be able to go through that. I'm still giggling.

* Realized I did NOT, in fact, purchase holiday cards last year at a discount, and so must shell out some cash for cards now.

* Lost much money to family during Thanksgiving Bingo.

* Watched The Outsiders, and it was even more horrible than I remembered. [painfully bad. Really. painful.]

* Have not had snow, but it's in the forecast, and I'm not really looking forward to it. If I didn't hate the heat, humidity and racism so much, I'd so move south.

* Realized that I stripped the bed today and all my non-flannel sheets are in the dryer, and that means I have to make the bed before I go to sleep. CRAP.

* Made delicious cheese straws for the first time. In the toaster oven. Still, tasted v. good. Will try again when I have a real stove.

* Put up lights out in front yard, even though I have no outlet in front yard. Must now wait for husband to run extension cord from backyard outlet. Or hire electrician to magically make an outlet out front [could do myself, but the outlet is kind of under the deck, and there are bugs there. Also, possibly possums.]. Hmmm . . . which will happen first?

* Can't think of a stinking thing to get husband for xmas or his birthday. Boo.

Am off to make bed and then lay in it. Yum.

An Appropriate Distance

I went shopping this morning with a friend of mine. We went to the mall because they were having a big ass sale, and I love being around as many people as possible.

Could someone please tell me when it was decided to be o.k. to stand rightfuckingnext to a person who is waiting in line? I kept moving a way from this woman and SHE KEPT MOVING RIGHT UP NEXT TO ME. It's like I had her on an invisible tether.

Gah. I hate people.

Because I Love Him

Well. Somehow the husband took offense to me yelling at him for kissing me because he later felt sick. I'm sorry. I just got over being sick. I have no interest in being sick AGAIN. I am, of course, interested in his health, just not anywhere near as much as I am in MY health.

I think there is a romance embargo in this house until cold and flu season are over. That's what? January? Right?

Gross

I cleaned my room today.

I have no idea how I could possibly swiffer up so much cat hair when the cats are not allowed in my room and the doors are closed.

It was disgustingly satisfying to clean those floors, though.

Bullets on a Wednesday

* How do you get Firefox to remember a password when you don't hit the Remember Password thing the first time?

* Am watching Count of Monte Cristo with husband. It's not bad. But the book is gigantically huge and still too daunting.

* Realized I have been out of work for 6 months. NOT happy about this.

* Also realized that in that time, I have accomplished ZERO of my goals.

* And had a really hard time not screaming at the law school fundraiser who called me for a donation. Um, no job + ridiculous loans + you calling me for money = NOT NOW, NOT EVER, BITCHES.

* Did manage to change all our wireless phones to a family plan. That took almost an hour, which is about an hour longer than I thought it should - but it was mainly due to my incessant questioning, not having papers/account numbers handy, etc.. That AT&T guy should get a medal.