Thursday, November 8, 2012

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming

Hey, so I was MIA for a while. 

Not the cool MIA - I wasn't making Paper Airplanes or doing badass stuff onstage at the Super Bowl Halftime Show.

Instead, I took an unscheduled sabbatical.

I was in something of a blogging funk.  Not that I didn't have thoughts swirling around, but the thoughts were mostly thus:

OHMYFUCKINGGOD, MY KID IS IN THE PATH OF A HURRICANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, not really conducive to writing anything coherent.  I spent the best part of last week constantly refreshing The Washington Post, The New York Times, Weather.com, and Wonkette [for comic relief], while keeping myself to a schedule of only texting the girl every 2.5 hours, because I didn't want to freak her out or drain her phone battery.  I was probably not the most productive employee.

The girl was fine.  Her school lost power, but she spent a few days at a friend's house - where they had also lost power.  Some of the area businesses had power, so they spent time shopping and at Starbucks and having a spa night.  All in all, not a bad way for a teenager to experience her first hurricane.  She did feel a little sick toward the end of the day on Wednesday, but by then the school had power again and so she went back and spent the night there.

I?  Spent a lot of time practicing my deep breathing.  Not that I didn't trust the family that she was staying with to protect her, or the school for that matter.  I know that they took their responsibilities seriously.  My problem was that there was nothing I could do.

I couldn't fly her out, because the airports were closed.  I couldn't go get her because we'd be driving into the path of a hurricane/snowstorm.  So she was out in the world and I had to let it all happen.

For a control freak, this was not good.

It did, however, make me realize that I could slightly let go of things and that would be o.k.  I could step back and not have to be the person who made all the plans and thought through all of the contingencies.  I could step back.

Tiny baby steps to allowing myself to just be.

The kitty helping me relax. By ignoring the papparazzi.

9 comments:

  1. Letting go is hard to do. Or wait, is that "breaking up?" I can't remember. Let's just say they both suck, mkay?

    Glad all is well, Mama Bear. :)

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  2. Uh, I would have been a super freak. A SUPER FREAK. I'm glad she made it through without any problem.

    Election night, my girl called me to tell me her precinct was in a "sketchy" area and the parking lot was full so she had to park a block away. She kept in touch me w/me for the next hour, telling me how long the line was, until suddenly her phone went dead. By this time, it was dark. I didn't panic, for about an hour, but then I went into super freak Mama mode. When 3 hours had gone by w/out a word, I sent out the posse. I facebooked her roommates and boyfriend. They found her car but not her. I made them go into the precinct where the line was wrapped around the building and look for her. She was there, still waiting to vote with a dead phone. 4 1/2 hours of standing in line. But she was okay.

    It is exhausting having girls who've left the nest.

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  3. Thought of you.

    And wondered how you'll ever handle it, b/c I"ll be counting on you, very very soon, to show just how to do it.

    Love you, Suni.

    GLAD ALL IS WELL.

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  4. After all of this, it has to feel good to know that, despite the fact that your daughter was stuck in the middle of a hurricane, that she was able to keep herself safe.

    You've done good work, momma.

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  5. I'm so glad your pumpkin is okay.

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  6. Welcome back from being MIA!

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  7. It's hard as hell to let go and let thing happen as they may (were intended? Eh. Not sure about that part all the time). Trust that you've taught her well.

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  8. Good for you for NOT setting out in your car into the path of a hurricane, as some would have. GAH, I'm twitchy just thinking about the whole thing.

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Every time you comment, I get a lady boner.